Sister Timberly Sunday School 12/4/11

Sister Timberly Sunday School 12/4/11

Five love languages of children:  physical touch, affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service.

Each of us has children in our lives; apply this as God would have you to.

When you have regrets, the enemy will come in like a flood.  When that happens, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.  If you have failure in your past you must let it rest on the bosom of Christ.   

Everyone makes their own choice and you cannot take the responsibility of someone else’s choice upon yourself.

Heb 12:1  Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Anything that will oppress you and hold you down is a weight.  We need to forgive those that have wronged us too.  If we hold harsh judgment then it comes back to us.  If we give liberty to others the same will be given back to you.

Quality time may be something that you have to plan.  You must make an effort to spend quality time together.  As many meal times you can have together the better.  Meal time is a good time to spend quality time with your children.  This book says a good way to spend quality time is if the dad takes the boys and does the dishes and the mom takes the girls and goes for a walk.

1Co 14:1  Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy.

I’m following after charity and desiring to have more of charity in my life. 

The quality time flows over into us as adults in the congregation.  It is good for us.  It means something.  Time is a precious thing and is not easy to give.

Love language of gifts:

Joh 3:16  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

God knows this language.  We need to give gifts and receive gifts.  I’ve been thinking of gifts and giving.  It can be a powerful expression of love.  With this you must have the other love languages too or they feel you are trying to buy their love.  Kids are smart and will not go for cheap love.

10 year old Rachel, “My parents bought me this when they went to California…” around her room she had many things that her parents had given her all of them were put in special places of honor.  For parents to truly speak this language the child must feel that their parents truly care.  Physical touch, affirmation, quality time help keep their love tank full and then the gifts mean something. 

We must give our children the liberty to be different.  One may appreciate the gift others the conversations we have with them and we may think they are unthankful for the gift.  They are not, they just really care about something else more.

Acts of service is the fifth love language.  “Let all your things be done with charity.”

Acts of service are physically and emotionally draining.  We need to take care of our self: eat right and sleep so we can be healthy for our family. 

Acts of service are not slavery.  Are we giving out with the right attitude?  Or do we feel like: “They messed up their room again.  They are being a pain in the neck.”  If we give freely our hope is that our children will grow to give of themselves as well.

Bro Bill - How people acted to us as a child will be remembered into their adulthood.  We need to remember this.  A child grows physically and their brain hasn’t finished developing yet either.  I have learned to give some slack to the kids at school because they are just kids.

There is an intermediate step to acts of service:  As we serve them we also teach them to care for them self.  The best way to motivate your children is for them to see your acts of love and service and then they have an example to follow.

Luk 14:12  Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee.

Luk 14:13  But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind:

Luk 14:14  And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.

There are some things that we will not receive a reward for in this life, our reward will be in heaven.  If we do things with a bad attitude then we won’t get far.  If we do something with an expectation for something in return the other person will feel that.  Unconditional love is ‘just because.’  You love them for no other reason.  “I love you because you are special or better than another” will only hurt the child. 

Give acts of service over time.  If this is your child’s love language then this is a strong, strong voice to them.  If you will use any of these love languages, it will help your children to know they are loved and it will take care of a lot of discipline problems. 

Sister Dorothy - The things you learn as a child will carry through to your death.  It is a wonderful language and you will want to share it with someone else.

Discipline and the love languages –

Pro 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This is wonderful promise.  It would be good for all of us young parents to get the tapes of Sister Brenda’s lessons on ‘Train Up a Child’.

Discipline is an act of love.  If I get busy and just try to smooth things over so I can get things done, things just escalate.  We need to keep discipline pleasant and firm. 

Accompany discipline with the love languages.  They are checking to see if we are on task and if we love them.  Keep in mind that they may be misbehaving because they are hungry or tired or thirsty. 

If we have children in our lives we will have to problem solve.  The child is not old enough to do it for his or herself.  If your child says that they are sorry you may not have to discipline them at that point.  Let them know that the reason that you discipline is because the bible tells you to and because you love them. 

If you do wrong to your child then you need to ask them to forgive you. 

Discipline is a tool to teach.  Teach them through the process, how to get from point A to point B.  Discipline is a correcting process. 

Teach them to apologize.  The words, “If I was mean to you I’m sorry” is not an apology.  You need to own what you have done when you apologize.  When you clear things up do it with just as much clarity as you can.  Teaching our children how to apologize is important.  If someone comes with an improper apology then we need to teach.  Our relationships will never change if we don’t help each other to the next level. 

Verbally we can say when someone doesn’t apologize right “I have already forgiven you.”  We may not be the one to teach them how to apologize.  They may not be able to learn from us.